Confused as hell, please help

So I really liked Tim and I took a chance and Brittany asked him if he would go to Tolo with me. He said he wanted to but there were questions he needed to ask. Then, he told me that he likes me but wants to make sure he really wants to date me before he actually does. But, we can still hold hands. It's so BS!! And I am so hurt and confused, I don't know what to do any more.
I wanna know what is so wrong with me? No guy seems to be able to get past the 'I just wanna be friends' stage? And I that ugly? Or what? I don't understand it. I want to be with him so bad, especially right now and he just doesn't seem to get it.
You were so right, Brittany. Everyone can see that we are meant to be together...BUT HIM!!! So how do I make him realize it?
Today after school we were talking and he said he still wants to go to Tolo with me and he hugged me and it hurt so bad because he doesn't realize just how much I wish he would do that and really mean it. Really hug me and enjoy it NOT because he thinks I'm sad or hurting but because he cares and wants to.

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I sit in this lonely room,
Staring at the stars,
Wondering how it all went so wrong,
Looking into my heart,
Knowing there are scars,
I fell for you so long ago,
And at one time you felt it, too.
I long to hear your voice again-
Like it was when you finally said,
-said, ‘I love you,’
I was young, and I let you go.
I sit in this lonely room,
Staring at the stars,
Wondering how it all went so wrong,
Looking into my heart,
Knowing there are scars.
I love you so much,
You can see it in my eyes,
I can feel it in my heart,
In the past I caused you pain,
You’re trying to act smart,
And protect yourself.
I sit in this lonely room,
Staring at the stars,
Wondering how it all went so wrong,
Looking into my heart,
Knowing there are scars,
I know you will never love me,
Oh you do- Just not the way I need you to,
But, I can’t tell my heart No,
Can’t seem to change your mind either,
Can’t you see- see how much we could be,
I don’t know what to say…
Other then,
I sit in this lonely room,
Staring at the stars,
Wondering how it all went so wrong,
Looking into my heart,
And seeing all the scars.
I guess this is the end,
And we are just friends,
The pain will lessen,
That’s what the experts say,
Good-bye, my Love.
I sit in this lonely room,
Staring at the stars,
Wondering how it all went so wrong,
Looking into my heart,
And seeing all the scars.

Just a little bit of everything

It's my first post for the New Year! Yay!
Cheney was a blast! I enjoyed seeing you all even if Tone' is a jerk and stood me up. I still had lotsa fun with my real friends!!
So, I have been thinking lately and I think after I graduate I wanna stay here in Shelton and continue working for Don. I really like the shows and don't mind being gone a lot. The only downside is showing on Sundays...
Yesterday I thought Tim and I had a good talk but now I am very confused. He asked me what I look for in a guy and I didn't answer him. (After everything I went through with Nash it is hard for me to open up and trust people I want to care about. But, Tim doesn't seem to understand that.) And he said, 'Well does being a Christian play a part in it?' And I honestly told him, 'It didn't before. But, after being in a relationship with a non-Christian and the hell I went through, it matters to me now.' I know I made him happy because he hugged me to death. But, today he told me that he didn't believe me. He said that I told him that because I knew that is what he wanted to hear. I love him so much, why would I lie to him? He means everything to me. I told him the truth, how do I get him to believe me? What did I do wrong?
Speaking of the little Nash part. Can you believe it's been a year since the last time he hurt me? It seems like it just happened, I can't believe how long it's been. But, if it wasn't for that relationship I don't think I would be that close to my family or to God. He also taught me that my next boyfriend has to be a Christian and has to share some of my passions.